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By Susan Sanow, CVA, Senior Manager, Volunteer Management Education, Volunteer Fairfax
As leaders of volunteers, our intention is to welcome and support people with their dreams of becoming volunteers. We commit to offering opportunities for those who step forward to give their time to our organization or cause. However, what happens when the unexpected happens: someone steps forward, receives the training, volunteers and then just disappears?
It’s a challenge when volunteers suddenly stop communicating or showing up – often without any explanation. It’s a phenomenon often referred to as “ghosting.” Understanding why volunteers ghost can help leaders of volunteers improve the entire process.
Why Do Volunteers Choose to Ghost?
- 1. Lack of Clear Communication/definition of expectations of volunteers. Do we fail to communicate expectations, roles, or schedules clearly; volunteers may feel confused or undervalued? Unclear instructions or inconsistent information can lead to frustration, prompting volunteers to disengage. It’s up to the volunteer whether they choose to give notice.
- 2. Feeling Unappreciated. Are we providing a genuine thank you in the terms a volunteer wants to see or hear?
- 3. Volunteers often give their time and skills for a reason. If they feel their efforts are not recognized or appreciated, motivation can wane, causing them to withdraw. They may opt to do this quietly.
- 4. Perhaps an unwelcoming environment discourages volunteers from continuing. Issues like volunteer cliques, lack of inclusivity, or other internal organizational conflicts may make volunteers uncomfortable, leading them to ghost rather than address the problem directly.
- 5. The volunteers have misjudged their own availability, time or energy and volunteering goals. Rather than being honest with their volunteer leaders, some choose to simply disappear to avoid confrontation or guilt.
- 6. Life changes happen. Whether it is work, family responsibilities or health issues, any of these may unexpectedly impact a volunteer’s ability to participate. In some cases, volunteers may not feel comfortable sharing personal reasons, so they opt instead to ghost.
- 7. Volunteers may have a false sense of volunteering expectations. Actual volunteer experiences may not live up to what they pictured or how it was explained during the recruitment. This misalignment can lead to disappointment and quiet departures.
- 8. Did we provide adequate training? Did we support a new volunteer in ways if they were overwhelmed? Without enough guidance, they may choose to walk away. “Better to leave than provide details. “I am, after all, just a volunteer!”
- 9. They just don’t know how to say goodbye. Did we forget to tell them?
What Can Leaders of Volunteer Do?
1. Communicate with the Volunteers. Have regular contact, provide clear instructions, and have a system to check-in on volunteers. The check-ins can be done by you or by a volunteer support team (maybe even run by other volunteers!
2. Show Appreciation. Recognize volunteers’ contributions both publicly and privately. Know the volunteer’s recognition hot buttons. Why wait to say thank you only during National Volunteer Month in April?
3. Foster Inclusivity. Create a welcoming environment where everyone feels valued and a part of the volunteer team.
4. Set Realistic Expectations. Be transparent about time commitments and responsibilities.
5. Offer Ongoing Support. Provide training, resources, and a point of contact for questions (without retribution).
6. Solicit Feedback. Encourage volunteers to share their experiences and suggestions for improvement. Perhaps issues can be resolved for other new volunteers.
7. Communicate the proper protocols for ending the volunteer relationship. “This is how to say goodbye: ___________”
Attempting to Close the Relationship
You can look to formally close the relationship. A calm and simple message via email, text or even snail mail – can express the change in status. “Thank you for your interest. While this did not meet your volunteering hopes and dreams, we hope you find the right volunteering experience for you,” or “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Not sure what happened, but we are respecting your decision”.
If you don’t hear back from the now former volunteer after your message, accept that they are not willing to provide an explanation at this time. Continuing to dwell on the situation will only prolong your pain. Don’t seek a further response from them. You have closed the door.
When Ghosting Impacts Your Confidence
Ghosting can feel like your failure. If you are taking it personally, it’s the time for some self-care and reflection. The ghoster’s failure reflects on them and not you. Let go. Move on. No need to chase them. It’s OK to seek support from colleagues or other volunteer management support networks to work through the experience. Focus on reclaiming your superpower as a leader of volunteers.